Remembering...

Tonight I went for my run with Steve. We ran into the trails at Lake Harbor Park and I came up to a gentlemen walking his dog and just as I passed him I realized (I think) it was a dear friend of my father. I happened to be a few paces in front of Steve and suddenly, everything went cold and I felt completely alone. It all played out like a scene from a movie I started to shake and sweat, trying to hold back the massive rush of emotions! Steve was now beside me and I asked if it was him and he said, “oh, it did kinda look like him, maybe” I started breathing really heavy and told Steve I didn’t think I was going to make it, he told me to just hang on we could stop and walk if I wanted to and I told him, “No, I mean (By now I am balling as we run) I can’t help it! I loose control every time I see him.” Then Steve understood and was very sweet and comforting (all the while we kept our pace) You see, I have seen this gentleman a couple of times since my father passed away on October 28th, 2006. They were best buds for many years and for some reason, when I see him, I get flooded with anger and pain. Maybe it is because I feel like my father should be doing the things that he is doing, like walking a dog on a beautiful fall evening or enjoying a coffee and reading a book at Barnes & Noble, or maybe it is the mutual loss that we both feel in the absence of such a wonderful friend and father… I am not sure but I do know that I am thankful for the opportunity to remember such a wonderful man. My dad will ALWAYS be loved and remembered!